Sexual boundaries

Sexual boundaries are of course when we are molested or raped. Some interesting facts about sexual abuse however that will help you to prevent yourself from being raped. Perpetrators test your sexual boundaries to see if you are someone that is okay for them to rape. They do this in a couple of ways. They sit too close or brush you while you are standing, or they look at you provocatively to see what you will do. They look at your breasts or genitals while talking to you. They talk about sex to see what your reaction is. They see if you have been drinking because drinking lowers inhibitions.

Rapists know to look for sexual boundaries that are not there. Women who have been molested as children do not have their sexual boundaries in the right place. They have been "groomed" or taught by their perpetrator to drop their boundaries and to not pay attention to their feelings of it being wrong. If you have been molested as a child, you can learn how to put your boundaries in the right place by paying attention to the cues. The best cue is internal. Does this person give you an "ick" feeling inside? Pay attention to how you feel when someone gets too close to you physically. Learn to recognise that feeling as a feeling of warning. A very good book on this subject is "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker.

Tomorrow we will talk more about traumatizing factors around incest.