Friday, May 25, 2007

Controlling behavior

Warning Signs of a Batterer

Destructive Criticism/Verbal Abuse - Name-calling; mocking; accusing; blaming; yelling; swearing; making humiliating remarks or gestures…

PRESSURE TACTICS - Rushing you to make decisions through "guilt-tripping"and other forms of intimidation; sulking; threatening to withhold money; manipulating the children; telling you what to do…

Abusing Authority - Always claiming to be right (insisting statements are "the truth"); telling you what to do; making big decisions; using "logic…"

Disrespect - Interrupting; changing topics; not listening or responding; twisting your words; putting you down in front of other people; saying bad things about your friends and family…

Abusing trust - Lying; withholding information; cheating on you; being overly jealous…
breaking promises - Not following through on agreements; not taking a fair share of responsibility; refusing to help with childcare or housework…

emotional withholding - Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights or opinions…

minimizing, denying and blaming - Making light of behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse didn't happen; shifting responsibility for abusive behavior; saying you caused it…

economic control - Interfering with your work or not letting you work; re fusing to give you or taking your money; taking your car keys or otherwise preventing you from using the car; threatening to report you to welfare or other social service agencies…

self-destructive behavior - Abusing drugs or alcohol; threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm; deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences (e.g., telling off the boss)…

isolation - Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives; monitoring phone calls; telling you where you can and cannot go…

harassment - Making uninvited visits or calls; following you; checking up on you; embarrassing you in public; refusing to leave when asked…


ACTS OF VIOLENCE
intimidation - Making angry or threatening gestures; use of physical size to intimidate; standing in doorway during arguments; out shouting you; driving recklessly…
destruction - Destroying your possessions (e.g., furniture); punching walls; throwing and/or breaking things…
Threats - Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you or others…
sexual violence - Degrading treatment based on your sex or sexual orientation; using force or coercion to obtain sex or perform sexual acts…
physical violence - Being violent to you, your children, household pets or others; slapping; punching; grabbing; kicking; choking; pushing; biting; burning; stabbing; shooting; etc…
weapons - Use of weapons, keeping weapons around which frighten you; threatening or attempting to kill you or those you love…

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