How do you know when it is time to divorce? Read on...

Divorce
There are two tasks that need to be done before a person decides to divorce. First the person deciding to leave needs to grieve the loss of what that person wanted out of the marriage. The ideal, the dream, or what once was and now is no more. That person needs to go all the way through the grieving process including the five stages of grief which usually takes about a year.
The five stages will be listed here because if you are thinking of leaving, it will give you an idea of how far you are in grieving.
1. Denial - I can't believe this is as bad as it is. He or she will get better. There is still hope for this relationship.
2. Anger - It is all my partner's fault. That person is the one that is in the wrong. Why me?
3. Bargaining - If only this would have happened or that would be different or if we could get help or if that would have worked. This is the working through understanding what went wrong in the relationship. Was it about me or the other person? Is there any way of salvaging it?
4. Guilt - It is all my fault. I am the one that allowed this to happen. I am the one that made all of the mistakes. I am the one that is wrong.
5. Acceptance - This is when you can say to yourself it is over and it no longer hurts to say it. This is when it becomes a relief to leave your partner because you know without a doubt that it is over.
Each of these stages have a purpose in understanding why the relationship failed. Each needs to be gone through.

The second task is to feel that you have done everything you could to salvage the relationship. While most of this is done in the bargaining phase, in the end it needs to be part of the acceptance that you have tried everything and nothing has worked. It does not matter what these things are, they are unique to the individual and the relationship. It just matters that you have tried several things and none have worked.

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